Story of.. saddness?

oh well.. possibly this is the last post i'll do on this blog.. anyone who hasn't found out yet, i've been posting on http://www.inspirated-poems-by-him.blogspot.com/ .. so yeah..
got quite moody today..
i wonder.. friends or foe.. what have i been doing these few years.. where am i.. why am i even in this world.. what the hell am i doing.. what is going on in my life right now.. im confused.. im really confused.. im going crazy.. going down.. chances of falling into depression.. maybe.. i hate it.. i really do.. i gave myself false hopes.. i should have just remained alone.. shouldn't have even tried making friends.. shouldn't even have tried to even find out about this world.. why do i exist? Is my calling for real? What have been going on all these years? Am i even for real? Where am I? What am I? What's my real characteristics? What's the real reason for me being in here.. Im confused.. Im not sure of who're being true to me.. who're not.. who're the ones who really want me to change.. who're those who doesn't.. who're the ones who wishes me well.. who're the ones who simply just want to trample me down.. Am I bound to live in such ill-fated life with high maintainence fees to bring me up? Am I still the spoilt kid I thought I already am not? What is going on? Why the fucking hell am i here for? IM CONFUSED.. I DUNNO WHAT'S GOING ON IN THIS LIFE. WTF IS THIS PLACE !? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME !? WHY OF ALL THINGS, THIS FREAKING WORLD!? im only 16.. im going to 17.. am i to suffer like this? am i to deal with such crappish issues? i dunno.. i dunno.. fuck.. what's this world to me.. fuck.. what am i doing in here now.. argh.. of course, i wouldn't bother to just go jump down the building or something.. since young i've been given the best from my parents, yet the worst from the society.. thought i've been going really well at start.. died at the end like nobody's business.. deliberately trying my best to change.. nobody there to help.. who am i.. what am i.. here to be forced to do things? here to let ppl crap things on me? here to just be another dumb clown? And here i am thinking of my own crapped up life.. there I go thinking abt those worse than me.. really.. what's going on.. i would like to know.. i dunno.. im fucked up.. what's this life to me? what's my damn purpose? what am i to become? is this all i am? just a fats inherited person who's life gone screwed up with wrong faults all day long? cool then.. cool then.. my story shall just go on.. worrying for those i have to.. leaving those i should.. forgetting those whom i shouldn't have remembered.. ahh. this post is going nowhere.